Things have been so crazy lately. This feels like the first time in a while that I've actually have time to work on my website. My family is forcing me to do a roadtrip to Houston on my only day off next week so I am just fully expecting to be an emotional wreck held in a rubber band ball. My back is killing me and I don't even get my day off to rest because I am guilted into a stupid road trip when I am going to spend the whole damn day bored and berated about how fat and stupid my family thinks I am. I don't fucking care anymore. I even had to cancel my therapy appointment because of this dumb trip so I am just so angry and feel so helpless. I really have been considering cutting them off again after I get my massage license. I can go on forever on all the things they do to hurt me but there's no point in dwelling on it. I just have to put up with them for now and just keep going on with my life. I honestly hope this is the last thing they ask of me. I'm so tired of all this. What's worse is that I can't code on her on my phone. What big poopy shit is that? Oh well, I guess I'll just use that time to study or catch up on one of my books on the shelf. I'll have to pack my bag this weekend.
My boyfriend and I wen to the mall today and decided to go to Crocs and get me better workshoes than the ones I already own. My feet KILL me every week and I NEED better support. I got my works shoes and we go 4 other pairs of shoes for the price of 2. What a great day! He also go his friend a super nice Lakers jersey too. I'm not really into sports but it sure is a really well made jersey. I hope he liked it.
I forgot my phone at my friend's house last night LOL! It was so weird not waking up to a phone. Very nice feeling though. I've been trying to cut off social media because I have a super bad addiction and it's like one thing to have your phone with social media, but another to just straight up not have my phone at all. It honestly made me feel a lot more peaceful waking up. I might honestly start keeping my phone in the living room once I get it back. Alsi, might just delete all my social media off my phone for good. If someone messages me on them, I can just look at it on my computer. It's a lot easier to get myself to stop scrolling when it's on my computer. Or at least that's what I have observed so far. I'll have to continue testing out what works for me.
Now that I'm not using social media as much anymore, I am trying to fill my time with new hobbies that excite me. I am currently coding for fun and enjoying my time with it. I want to learn to code so I can make this site so much cuter and make cute little inteactive games for my closet and all my altars. I have so many plans and visions, and I really do see them being fleshed out on here. I really do feel that there is so much joy to be had in exploring my creativity here. All this programing is a little overwhemling to me right now, but I do feel I'll get the hang of it once I really start creating more cool shit. I think I might start look up tutorials on how to make a dress up game and a room decor game. It's crazy to think that I am doing all of this stuff noe. I dreamed of coding cool games and experiences for the longest time. I dreamed of creating my own website. I've dreamed of creating so many things on a digital landscape. But here I am. Right now, in the flesh, making my childhood dreams come true. Think I might try doing some pixel art stuff! I think it would be so cute and I've always wanted to learn how to do it. I'll have to play a round with my iPad a bit to see what works for me. I just have so many ideas buzzing. I think I'll make a little list.
It's still so crazy to think that I actually was able to figure out how to edit code. I found some base codes to work with for now and I know that editing them was so easy. But damn, was this shit so hard for me back when I was in middle school. Made no fucking sense to me. I'm starting to get it just a bit more now. I've also been lerning coding basics on a coding app I have on my phone. I'm having a lot of fun with it, but it's starting to get a little overwhelming for me. Oh, well. I think I'll get the hand of it soon. Then I can really start to work on implementing my bigger ideas onto the screen. I have so many projects to pursue, but I still lack the knowlegde, resources, and time to get them all done.
I'm currently in massage school and it's a bit overwhemling if I can be completely honest.